Whilst many are out there searching for development opportunities and the chance to progress, at this time of the year many players find out they are being released from their club.
Over recent times a lot of negative press has centred around academies. It seems that the trend is that if you are not in the system it means it is rubbish (academy football). Maybe that is a sign of the times, the current culture of opinion.
What all these negative articles and one sided journals like, Michael Calvins No Hunger In Paradise, fail to show are the benefits, be that health and fitness, education, social skills, values for life and getting kids off the street. Not every academy has it right, but most do, and all try.
What some academies are missing though is the support for the mental side of release. When that phrase, sorry you are being released, hits, it must be like a bomb going off. The silence must be deafening. Clubs do need to improve their support network for those boys who are let go, it’s not enough to say I’ll give another club a call, there needs to be a real care for young people. I also feel there is a culture of passing the problem on, once a coach/club has made that call, do they follow up a week later, a month later, a year later?
But we can also provide a personal network of support for a player. If the academies aren’t doing it, then we have to.
The highs and lows that football can bring are a toll on the mind, an addictive buzz even at the youngest of ages.
Strategy
If you are one of the privileged 1% who are in an academy, then there is just 1% of you who will make it, so the odds are you may not. You are more likely to be released that not. The key if you are in the system is to prepare for what might happen if you are released. That is not to say you should lower your expectations, but you should plan for the worst case whilst aiming for the stars. The understanding that just 1% of 1% make it is the start of the healing process should you be released. It’s not just you, it’s not even just being released the could stop your passion of playing, being injured, being a sub, being sold…. It’s part of the game.
But it’s also important to take the view that not everyone will like you, a club or a coach may want something different. We hear ‘people’ talk about Messi and Ronaldo as the GOATs and big Messi fans suggest Ronaldo is rubbish, and visa versa. But why can’t we love both? The game is often said to be about opinions and the truth is that football success isn’t based on measurements, say like a 100m sprint, there actually is no ‘real’ evidence if you are good or not.
A parents main role is support and patience, this should also be said of coaches, or anyone else who is involved within football. If you’ve got this far in reading this then I take it you already have a good heart in this!
Dealing with it
Now it’s happened it’s time to put your strategy in place and if you don’t have one. Make one. As we’ve said, football is game of opinions, and understanding that your style may be better suited to another club or coach is a good place to put your mindset. We seem to live in a society where the word NO dominates. Time to find your YES.
Take heartbreak as a closely aligned state of mind to a released player. Dramatic pain seems to evoke a dramatic response from even the most measured of people but this is not the time to let emotion take control.
COMMUNICATE– First of all, be open. Allow yourself to talk about it, do you feel sad? Ok lets talk about it, confide in your parents and coaches and verbalise (or write down) your feelings. There is no need to hide from heartbreak. There is no need to cover up or hide from release.
ACCEPT IT– Do not search for an explanation. There is likely to be a reason given, accept it, no amount of explanation will heal the pain. Acceptance is where closure will occur. Be willing to let go, accept that it’s over. Hope is destructive when your heart is broken. Hope is destructive when you have been released from a club, somewhere you considered to be home. When people go through heartbreak, there seems to be a certain amount of idolisation, and the same can be said of the club you are leaving. The future you had in your mind was your imagination – it’s wasn’t real.
FOCUS ON YOU– You can only control yourself. You can’t invest in the perception of another person. Trust yourself and trust that you can deliver yourself a better future. A future that is not just in your imagination. Make your future even better. Don’t consider it your loss, it’s not. Be thankful you know now and invest in yourself.
MOVE ON– Control your mind. It’s a fight to control your mind, but you can win that fight, it’s hard but you can’t let a release from a club dictate your next step. As I have said, the future role you had at your club was your imagination, you are allowed to dream, but now WAKE UP! A common phrase in heartbreak is ‘move on’! Well what are you waiting for? The player you want to be, the player you can be, is within you.
Next step
Ok, first of all put the phone down. Stop talking (to new clubs etc) and make sure you have followed the steps to take back control. First of all get yourself in your new routine. You can be training in the same way, you’ve learnt what you should be doing, your diet can be good and you can look after your mind and body. Get some sleep too! Do not contact all the clubs at once, you can’t go into all of them, scouts and recruitment officers often talk and you do not want news to spread. Be thoughtful of the process. Maybe write down a plan of each step.
If you do not have a good set of connections yourself you can go into a Showcase game? You can upload Videos to social media? You can ask for help? The world is there for you. Take you time and be considered. Be considered in your approach and use your “heartbreak“ techniques to keep on top of the process.
I often think that the word journey should be removed from the football vocabulary, it’s not a journey, it’s a fight! If you give up. Failure is certain.
Rejection can be a battle scare, maybe it should now be relished and not feared.
